我不覺得自己是一個很愛過節日得的人。然而中秋節對於我，卻有種無法割捨的情感，即使是已經搬到荷蘭好多年了，還是每年都會去買月餅，做月餅來吃。記憶中的中秋節，是一家人在門口烤肉，媽每年會醃些豬肉片，我們一起撥柚子，帶柚子帽，吃包著鹹蛋黃的月餅當點心。今年我特意選在個時節回家，思思念念著可以再一次回味這樣的美好時光，後來我才發現，原來我以為該怎麼過的中秋節，早已隨著時過境遷的不復存在。 中秋節的前天，哥哥說今年中秋,提前一天烤，就在他的家門口簡單烤烤，說沒有找其他什麼人，就我們家人這樣。結果我的姪女卻邀了她班上一堆同學來，說實話我是非常的不開心。一群陌生不認識的屁孩，為什麼要來掃我過這個難得的中秋團圓興致;心裡已經夠失望了，還要假裝好像都沒事的樣子，當個有風度的大人模樣。 而中秋節的當天，只有我爸媽跟我三人，坐在電視前的餐桌上，用插電的烤爐，烤著幾片昨天他們剩下的豬肉片，爸爸還在那邊吆喝說要剉簽小黃瓜配三明治，唸我整根小黃瓜咬這樣吃不對，結果我的不滿終於到了極限，臭臉無極限的我，說著這不是我想要的中秋節。我覺得自己很自作多情，以為這樣的節日會是一家人開開心心的慶祝，而事實是，我們原本的一

I've been thinking to write this diary weeks ago to memorize what we had done this summer, however I just couldn't make a peaceful mind and put down my thoughts into hundred of words. Somehow Its exhausted me by just think of it. Now in this very moment, I am

I realized saying no its the one and only way to access my inner peace lately. Obviously saying yes is definitely much more complicated than the other. When I am not engage with anything, therefore there will not have further complicated arrangements, compromise agreements, disappointed commitments, so and so. When

Years ago my therapist once told me, the way to prove our life is to rely on something very simple, which is TALKING.  To speak out what we think, and communicate with other people, by doing so it will achieves what we called_life. I have been thinking about this

I already lost track of how many Vietnamese summer rolls I had during the trip in Vietnam.  However I do have confidence to say I have more knowledge about their food culture than before. Vietnam is not far from China, but it seems to me soy sauce is not the

Right now, At this very moment , Our kitchen renovation is coming to the final stage. Our contractor is about to destroy the old / terrible /miserable kitchen alley, and the useless second kitchen on the first floor. Yes , the previous house owner had build two kitchens in this house, I don't

I recently rediscovered a file lay on my desktop which I stored a lot of photos about our previous apartment.  I probably wanted to write a story about that 12 floor height ivory tower-house we had lived about 2 years during the pandemic time, but some reasons I completely forget

You are a sun, so am I. While two suns came too close each other. I feel your sun light is much more sunnier than mine. I couldn't see my own halo but a long shadow when you stand next to me. Therefore I need to keep you in distance

無煩無惱,用台語唸起來,不知道為什麼就是有種比較看透紅塵的禪意。能夠身心靈都達到這個境界,我想這會是我短期內想給自己的目標,即使不可能一直維持這種內心狀態,那至少偶爾感受這樣的無重力,哪怕是一小時也好。 所有煩惱都是自找的。最近身邊友人的心情極度不穩定,我感覺自己就像是被他颶風肆虐而變得極為荒涼的菜園,原本正好吃的空心菜,地瓜葉,都被他過量的雨水泡爛。我覺得很惱火,原本可以用這些好料燒一桌的好菜,我甚至願意分享共食美味的盤中飧;現在我只想把溫室網架趕快蓋好,以防止他變化多端的豪大雨。 是啊！即使再親近的朋友,也不會想替你遮風擋雨的。你的問題自己求來的,就要自己求解;我自己的也是。 我有什麼問題？ 我...希望自己都沒問題。

Sometime I got confused weather I don't like it, or I am simply not used to it. let's change a different mind set this time. Started from I want to try to get used to...AND WE SEE WHAT THINGS WOULD CHANGE.

My last few days before the new year come, I was planing nothing but stay on my couch watching the Korean soap drama, and yes I successfully made it and I feel very proud of myself to be able to ignoring those annoyingly house chores behind, and I even had

Every year around this period, I always feeling people are getting much more busier than usual. I imaging myself like grandpa feeding pigeons in the park, leisurely looking at people running all over the places, my first thought is I would like to give you some pet talks, cheer you

不知道上一次跟朋友用中文聊天是多久以前的事了？感覺已經有好長的一段時間裡,我只跟自己講話,那種無聲的對話,只有鋼琴聲做背景音樂,每天做著相同的事,沒有意外也沒有驚喜,就這樣一成不變的生活,沒有好或不好。我說。 我是想改變的嗎？我問我自己。然後，我又不禁反問那改變的目的是為什麼? 改變不就是因為不滿意當下的現況,所進行的調整嗎？我不覺得我不滿足,但也不覺得自己很滿足些什麼。就像灰色那樣,介於黑與白之間,不需要選邊站。中間地帶不也都挺好的?。 可以選擇說些什麼,或著什麼都不說。在旁邊安靜的看著,像空氣一樣透明,舉無輕重。我覺得自己像是久坐在觀眾席的聽眾,表演節目不斷的更換,台上人們嘶聲力竭的吶喊人生,我就是靜靜的台下看戲,看到好戲鼓掌,看到爛戲就閃人;只是有時候,仍不禁會妄想著,有天自己也能上台表演,揮灑汗水讓自己的人生也可以在聚光燈下閃閃發光。然後呢？ "想像"與"現實"之間,隔著一個手扶梯叫做"行動力"。付諸行動,我們有機會可以實現很多事情。而最近我總覺得,自已的行動力很低,且付諸行動的風險很高。以至於我想很多事,

This October seems very odd to me. My husband got concussion from an accident, and the reason to cause him got such which we all feel very hard to believe.  And then since he won't be able to working normally, so almost the entire october, I am helping my dear

上週六從拉脫維亞回到家後,就是不斷的在洗衣,曬衣,燙衣服。徹底地當了3天的洗衣婆,期間還發生我珍愛的白色衣物們全被染灰的意外,跑遍超市洗衣專區,買了好多洗白去漬貴桑桑的產品,用了都沒效果,最後想說我豁出去了!反正白不回來最後也是被回收丟掉得命,不如我用洗馬桶的漂白水稀釋熱水泡看看,居然還白回來了! 雖然最後是有驚無險的拯救了我整批的白衣,但這次旅行回來,花在洗衣服的時間,怎麼可以這麼久？ 今天也跟心理咨詢師討論了這件事,我說我覺得自己的時間怎麼都不夠用,或是怎麼都用在其他摸不著邊際的事,但自己真正想做該做的事都沒做到。 她說,其實每件事都是我自己同意去做的,而那些我同意去做的、也代表著那些事情對我的重要性;只是重要性的先後順序,在我有限的時間裡沒辦法全部處理完畢。 那我也反問我自己,既然是我自己同意也認為重要的事,那為什麼我做完並沒有感到開心？是啊？我真的也不知道為什麼,我只希望我可以不用每天都在重複做一樣的事情,整理,打掃,洗碗,澆花,煮飯,買菜,等前面全部都做完後,我才有時間給我自己,而這時後也都下午2點以後了,然後我也已經累到好想睡午覺,到5點煮晚餐前,也只剩3個小時可以給我自

在家過暑假的這兩週,原本就沒特別計畫要做些什麼,簡單的在行事曆上寫著,手縫日本窗簾,讀本書,做個日式布丁,白天在沙發耍廢看電影,等等。現在八月過了一半,上面提到想做的事,結果也只做了兩樣,不知道我到底把時間消費在哪裡了？ 刷個手機,一推人在po開心渡假的影片,手拉兩個大Rimowa行李箱去機場的,坐飛機搭商務艙的,海邊日光浴假裝在看書的,南法高級別墅搭配游泳池喝香檳的...我覺得自己胃裡的酸葡萄真的滿到要吐出來了;猛然看到有位“智”者說,IG上面大家都在分享著,生活裡美好的時刻,所以結論就是What a wonderful world諸如此類的鬼話;當下看到這樣的魔鬼雞湯文,真的好想把我吐出來的東西,都打包快遞到他家。 這些我們自己以為的美好,說實話就是在愛現啊。倘若大家分享的生活點點滴滴,每個故事都美到心坎裡,看完後內心變得善良且充滿愛,那就還說得過去;但事實就不是啊。 所以我都是在上廁所拉屎的時候,刷手機,看著你們分享著那些美好人生片段🙄。 (我真的是覺得滿搭的) 天阿! 我今天講話真的好刻薄。應該是荷蘭天氣真的是太熱了,我的良善已經全部跟汗水一樣的流失蒸發掉了;剩下的只